Home > Friends > My Love/Hate Relationship with my Therapist

My Love/Hate Relationship with my Therapist

ambivalence
[am-biv-uh-luhns]

Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.

I’ve been in therapy for about 20 years. I started years ago with an LCSW that I had a good rapport with and continued on until today, where I see a Psychologist. The therapist I was seeing before that was an awesome psychologist and helped me out tremendously, but he retired and so at the beginning of the year, I started seeing someone who he recommended.

It’s always difficult to start a therapist/patient relationship anew. I had been with Dr. C for three years and he KNEW my issues. Hell, he was there at the most difficult part of my life. Now, I was forced to re-hash all the crap to this stranger. The prospect of revisiting past event can be tiring and cathartic at the same time, depending on how the new person interacts with you.

So, as those first few sessions passed, I began to feel comfortable with her. She was my first female therapist and as a female, brought a slightly different approach to the issues at hand. Yes, I understand each individual therapist brings an approach unique to that individual; however, I would argue that there are perspectives a female can bring to a session that a man may not be as aware.

Eight months later, I find myself looking forward to the sessions more and more. There is an interesting dynamic that occurs in the room and a constant give-and-take that I didn’t have with most of my other therapists. I like the challenges she presents and, while it can be infuriating, like her placid demeanor. She’s provided me with insights on issues that were heretofore unaddressed, as well as new impressions on items I had deemed resolved. But that’s not the purpose of the post. I just wanted to get on paper (yes, I know) what me feeling were about this particular therapist;

  •  I love/hate my therapist because she takes the time to ponder and mull over before interjecting
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she is stoic, even when I’m breaking down
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she can never be a friend
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she challenges me
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she refuses to succumb
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she laughs with me
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she doesn’t understand me completely but she’s trying
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she insists on the invisible barrier
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she cares
  •  I love/hate my therapist because she doesn’t show it
Categories: Friends Tags: , ,
  1. August 18, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Here’s to a happy ending…

  2. Sally
    August 8, 2012 at 1:34 am

    I understand the love/hate thing. It’s happening to me now. God I want to slap her and kiss her at the same time.

    • Ody
      August 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm

      Maybe we have the same therapist…

      • Sally
        August 9, 2012 at 1:39 am

        Maybe.. Haha 🙂 I just wish I didn’t feel things too deeply, though. Maybe that’s the problem.

      • Ody
        August 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

        Yeah. I know what you mean. We all want acceptance, especially from someone we’re opening up to in this way.

      • Sally
        August 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm

        Nice blog by the way, man! 🙂

  3. October 1, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I am going through torture with my therapist; not because she is inept or because she challenges me or makes me recall and confront painful issues. No, none of that; she is a consumate, caring professional. The real trouble is that I have genuinely (no it’s not mere transference) fallen in love with my psychologist, Dr Quine. But regulations mean that the very rules put in force to protect me and others are the self-same rules that are causing me so much pain. I know that still practicing therapists have married their patients; so can anyone tell me how they got round the ethical arguments?

    • Ody
      October 29, 2012 at 8:48 am

      I wholeheartedly agree.

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