Archive for February, 2011

Movies, Movies, Movies

February 27, 2011 1 comment

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In the days heading up to the Oscars, with Suzanne being laid up in bed, we’ve/I’ve been watching lots of movies. Below is a list of the movies I’ve watched in just the last week. I look at the list and visually feel the way I used to physically feel the day after Halloween. Gorged on candy and feeling a tad bit sick.

As someone who doesn’t usually watch movies, having seen this many movies in a short period of time sort of imbalances me. I want to take a break from the visual and just listen to music or read a book. All I know is that there are some great movies released last year, as well as some dogs. The list below is just for the last week and I’ll give a brief synopsis of each one.

  1. AVATAR – Extended Edition: This edition adds roughly 16 minutes of additional footage, mainly at the beginning and during the escalation of hostilities between the Na’avi and the humans. Think Dances with Wolves in space with a Titanic-type run time. Wear your Depends… *** 1/2 stars
  2. BLACK SWAN: This critically received film is an intense descent into madness as played by Natalie Portman. Mila Kunis plays her self-created nemesis; Barbara Hershey as her domineering mother and Vincent Cassel as the Ballet Choreographer. Unbelievably intense and persona and an amazing performance by Princess Amidala. ***** <- My pick for the Best Picture Oscar
  3. GREEN HORNET: Retelling of the classic radio series and remake of the TV series done in a humorous style. Well, trying to be humorous, the movie comes across as dull and witless. Seth Rogen is an obnoxious, unredeemable mess. The fact that the real star of the movie is the FUCKING CAR should speak volumes. BOOOOOORRRRING. * 1/2 stars
  4. INCEPTION: I watched this again this week in anticipation of the Oscars and because watching a mind-fuck movie always requires multiple viewings. A dream within a dram within a dream, Christopher Nolan’s vision of a dreamscape and the paradoxes within certainly takes the prize for most post film discussions elicited. In my opinion, his wife was right and he’s still one level down. **** stars
  5. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT: Happy lesbian couple with family with two kids from the same sperm donor. Kids curious about said donor and find him. They get together and hilarity ensues as this “modern family” goes through life. Although, it’s not quite like that and the emotion and difficulties of maintaining a marriage, conventional or not, and the dynamics of the family change and grow as this new element is introduced into their lives. Excellent movie. **** stars
  6. THE KINGS SPEECH: I can imagine the “pitch” at a studio head’s office “See, it’s about King George the VIth’s speech impediment.” Studio head: “Uh huh.” Featuring three stellar performances by Colin Firth as King George VI, Helena Bonham Carter as his wife and Geoffrey Rush as Lionel Logue, speech therapist. Yes, it’s about the King’s stuttering and yes, it’s about the speech he gives at the onset of the Second World War, but at its basic its about two people who become friends in the unlikeliest of circumstances and from the most different of backgrounds. My alternate pick for Best Picture. **** 1/2 stars
  7. SALT: Jason Bourne in the body of Angelina Jolie. Bad ass CIA operative that turns out to be a Soviet mole (yeah, I know there is no Soviet Union anymore, but work with me, OK?). She kicks butt, looks beautiful and is smarter than the average bear. Mindless fluff but more entertaining than The Green Hornet. ** 1/2 stars
  8. GNOMEO AND JULIET: Just got back from watching this with the kids. For 90 minutes I did not laugh or smile. Yes, it was that bad. Poor Shakespeare is spinning in his grave. 0 stars

Still in the queue:

  1. 127 Hours
  2. The Social Network
  3. Winter’s Bone
  4. The Fighter
  5. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
  6. Enter the Void
  7. Gulliver’s Travels
  8. Exit Through the Gift Shop

Hope you all have had a chance to watch some of these!

Categories: Entertainment

Where are the moonbases and flying cars?

February 25, 2011 Leave a comment


Categories: Humor

On Injured Reserve

February 25, 2011 3 comments

Heck of a lot of snow

You know that sinking feeling when you’re about to fall and there ain’t no way you’re gonna stop it? It’s as if your life slows down and you can see what’s coming but you can’t do a damn thing about it. Well, last Friday, I experienced the feeling. I was meeting my wife for coffee at the local coffee shop at 8:30 am. She was on call the previous evening so we always try to make time for a mini-date whenever we can.

I found my favorite spot (broken parking meter eliminates the need to put coins -SCORE!) and started up the sidewalk. We’ve had a boatload of snow here (check out the picture of my son on the snow mountain – the fence is 6 ft high for perspective) and so we have patches of ice buried under the snow.

As I was walking up the sidewalk, I saw a snow covered patch of ice so I started to navigate around it. Unbeknownst to me, I was already standing on a snow covered patch of ice. That was the point at which the space-time continuum began to cause a transformation in which slowed time down. Me: OOOOOOOOHHHHHH NNNNN

Nothing like spending Friday night in the ER


I landed on all fours (thankfully not my back) and my heavily gloved hands were protected from the concrete sidewalk and my right knee landed in the snow. My left knee, however, hit the concrete. Hard. Being a male and being an idiot (redundant?), I tried to brush it off. It wasn’t so bad at first but as the day progressed, it got worse. When Suzanne got home from work, I was making whimpering noises and she was not about to listen to me act like a baby so she took me to the ER at Froedtert Hospital. What a romantic way to spend a Friday night.

Thankfully, it was quiet and the ER doc that attended to me was a good friend (Dr. Jonathan Rubin <- he rocks!) so it wasn’t too bad. we were in and out in about 2 1/2 hours. I’ve heard of people who’ve bee in the waiting area for that long on busy nights! End result? A bad bruise and possible torn meniscus but no broken bones or ligament tears. I went and saw a Sports Medicine doc (another good friend, Dr. Craig Young) who concurred with Jon’s assessment. Rest and ibuprofen was the prescription. The moral of the story? It’s easier to walk on snow than on ice. Like I said, I’m an idiot.

Categories: Family, Medicine

How to really screw up your customer service

February 10, 2011 1 comment

Why do business do stupid things like this? For an exchange of gloves and taking a $44 hit, this establishment could have avoided a story going viral about their stupidity (c’mon, if you’re going to insult a customer, don’t do it electronically!). Ah well, such is fodder for the webz. Thank you, Function4Sports, for entertaining us on this cold day, for diverting our attention from the mundane, and for being thankful we’re not the asshole you are.

Function 4 Sports. Free Burton snowboard with Ride boot and bindings..

Categories: Humor, Stupid shit